Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Lindsay Lohan's Breasts Offend Children?

This has got to be the beginning of the end for "American" society. The new Herbie movie, the fourth sequel to the classic 1968 film, The Love Bug about a Volkswagen Beetle car that is "alive", features Lindsay Lohan, the well bodied teen actress who has become a sort of breast icon for millions of teen fans as well as a number of more adult followers. In a yet to be understood social twist, Disney technicians were forced to digitally reduce her breasts throughout the film as their size was deemed "offensive" for a film geared towards children.

Now, this has got to be the most mind-boggling piece of news I've read in years. How can breasts, something you suck as a child, be offensive to children? Could it be more likely that it offends the adults that feel tempted by Lohan's natural beauty or those women that feel envy towards her biologically endowed demeanor? Breasts are breasts, nothing more, nothing less. It is something that women have, biologically built into their bodies. It is something that serves the singular purpose of providing nourishment to a newborn child. Unless the movie's storyline or directing features Lohan's breasts in depraved sexual acts with other children, I don't understand the offense. Do her breasts fire missiles like those of the classic japanese cartoons, which no parent complained about?

It is important here to note, who is the one being "offended". It isn't children. Children couldn't care less. In fact, young girls are often uncomfortable with their new endowments, and in fact, find them uncomfortable when they are large particularly if they're active in sports or in outdoor activities. Male children have more of a curiosity about them than the depraved sexual interest adults are quick to assign to them. If "Americans" were wondering why the rest of the world mocks them and thinks of them as ignorant, culture-less children, well, here's yet another perfect example. This is the result of "America's" obsession with sexuality, it has depraved their judgment of any sense of coherence.

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On the one hand, we sexualize children, and on the other we complain about the sexualization. It has become such an obsession, this infantile world, that society in general has become disconnected with the true reality of growing up. A child is as capable as is his/her potential, and it is adults who remove the so called "innocence" by assigning value and importance to things that are both natural and unimportant to the child. It is adults who are depraved. If you are offended by Lindsay Lohan's beautiful, god given form, and think it is wrong and sexually offensive that her breasts should naturally bounce when she runs, then it is you who are the depraved, sick bastard who is obsessively sexualizing something that has nothing to do with sexuality.

Sadder still is that Disney would follow suit with the digital reduction and cover up, by reducing her breasts by two sizes and raising the necklines on her clothes. Disney, the company that puts out children's films that explore such lovely children's topics as revenge, violence, lust, obsessive desire, envy, etc. etc. If you're wondering which films I'm talking about, then here's a short list: The Lion King, The Humpback of Notre Dame, Snow White, Mulan, etc. etc. It is here that a perfect example of the social issues that plague modern society surface when it comes to sexuality. It is ok to kill, maim, dismember (as in Star Wars films), and commit devious violent acts with dubious morals and consequences, but don't ever dare to show a breast, or anything to do with our biology, lest it be the greatest offense to society and the fall of our high moral structure. Food for thought? I certainly hope so.

In the end, Linday Lohan no longer has those "offending" breasts, since she has become too anorexic recently to have any breasts. Perhaps that's why Disney is reducing them, to better reflect the current Lindsay and maintain the actress recognition level with audiences. As Jon Lovitz would say, "Yeah! That's It!"
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13 comments:

josh said...

Every once in a while, I click the little "Next blog" button in hopes of finding something interesting out there in the blogging world. Just wanted to say that I really enjoy your commentary, bfranco. It's refreshingly intelligent, but not boring. Oh, and I think if Americans feel the need to dwell on such crises as Lindsay Lohan's breast size...well, I'm starting to lose hope that people will one day wake up and see what's really important in this world. Give me a break!

bFranco said...

Welcome Josh and thank you for your comments. I do that often as well. It really is a great way to find new thoughts and perspectives and maintain a more open and understanding mind, particularly with the narrow view presented presently throughout the media (the biggest example being Fox News).

As to Lindsay Lohan's breasts, well, my commentary expresses most of my thoughts on that subject, but I might add that it is certainly worrisome that we continue to focus on trivial and psychologically questionable items when so many more important things are happening around the world. Don't lose hope though, for those of us (and I'm including you in this case) that see beyond such bullshit, through our attempts to communicate with others be it through our blogs or through other means, do contribute to a better understanding of our reality and the world around us.

Thanks again.

josh said...

Thanks for all the comments on my blog as well, bfranco. Also, I...I...

Oh, I'm sorry, I can't finish this comment because I can't stop staring at Lindsay Lohan's breasts! So... distracting... can't form thoughts or... continue to...participate in society... augh

Planteichon said...

I laike wimen and girls like this too. She is priti and I will like merry one one dey.

bFranco said...

What can I say Josh, I couldn't ignore them either. So much so, that I wrote in my blog about it. LOL

Mime said...

Superb! You should send it to a magazine.I loved it.

Natalia Pi said...

i am worried people might turn into such fragile creatures more often. i see them a lot of the time, but not all the time. lindsay should worry about her health and not her figure. i am impressed and not in a good way. eating disorders should be a problem not a celebration.

bFranco said...

Thanks for the compliment Mimi, coming from such a fine screenwriter like yourself it's quite the statement :). I'm feeling pheclempt...talk amongst yourselves...I'll give you a topic...Barbara's nails..:)

bFranco said...

I couldn't agree more, Natalia. This whole eating disorder thing is becoming more and more pervasive in Hollywood. Look at Nicole Ritchie who, to quote another blog, looks like skeletor. And the Olson twins aren't far behind. One thing is to be thin and healthy, but dropping below 10% fat is downright dangerous for women since essential fat is between 10 to 12%. Athletic women are normally told by experts to have between 14 to 20%. With men, the numbers are much lower, but are still required for their health.

Planteichon said...

I have etin disorder too and i want to lus weit like her to be more chape sinse I want to merry egen with the love of my life I met in the internet.

IvO said...

Does it surprise you that an america that re-elected that baboon George Bush would make a big fuss about a girl's breasts? Nothing surprises me anymore after those latest elections.

In other news, I heard it in a grapevine that Roselló auditioned for that part that Lindsay Lohan got finally but since he didn't want to get breast implants, he didn't get it. Keep at it Pedrito, You will win in something someday. (NOT!) ;)

bFranco said...

Well, the reelection was dubious at best, so I can't completely agree with that, though why many people voted for him still leaves me at a loss.

As to Roselló, well, he's like the loser at a beauty pageant who ignores that they've lost and will try again and again, year after year. Sad really, but you can't say it hasn't entertained everyone and distracted people from the crappy reality of the country.

Planteichon said...

You pipol are seying that Rosello can not wuin enithin and are meikin jouke becos he was stolen the elecchon from him. I invait you to reed my coments in a berry good blog from a good Puertorican from the taun of Jajuya who know a lot abaut politics and the discrimineichon we have bicose we are not total americans:

http://pr51.blogspot.com/